Too Human - X360 Review

[Originally published in Forge Press: Issue 1]
By Sam Robinson

I’ve always had a soft spot for mythology. The concept of all the different gods and goddesses for different things interspersed with the many different tales enthralled me as a kid. And it’s still the same today. So when I heard of a game featuring the bloodthirsty Norse gods I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to play. It’s a shame no-one stabbed me with a mistletoe-tipped spear beforehand.

Too Human is too flawed. First off is the rubbish title, Too Human, deriving from the fact that the main character, Baldur, is in a world filled with cybernetic gods whilst our main protagonist has few technology implants and as such is considered too human; ‘great’ wordplay.

Sadly this leads onto the second flaw, the plot, which chooses to appear at points thanks to a lack of cutscenes. When it does appear then we’re faced with verbal diarrhoea which is leaking out of the basin they call a game and all over the bathroom floor. It’s undeniably bad and only really picks up towards the end, when it swiftly ends. And yes, they plan on making two more of these.

This now brings me onto the crown of the crap-heap: the gameplay. The developers clearly had the goal of making an easy to play fun game for friends to mess around on and flex muscles at each other. What we ended up with is a flawed game that combines all the things we avoid about games.

The camera is poor, sticking to your back like a limpet and gracefully shields your view from the enemies. Even the combat is below average with poor targeting with ranged weapons, and the melee fighting is, frankly, irritating.

This is made ten times worse by the fact that playing as any class other than the bio-engineer will lead to your frequent death, which is made additionally painful by including a pointless scene of a valkyrie carrying you away each time you respawn.

The first time this happens it is mildly surprising as you wonder whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing. But after a while my brain gave up trying to comprehend why this useless feature was added and instead wonder about the infinite vastness of space. Which is a problem, as a game should enthral and captivate.

Then it came to me. What I was playing was a poor version of Champions of Norrath (which is saying something as that also sucked more than a Dutch prostitute). That also had pointless gear, no foreseeable plot and pretty much the same classes available. To be fair all RPGs have the stereotypical healer, damage dealer, damage taker but after so many years it is beyond a joke.

I would never recommend this to anyone I liked but if you like seeing people throw away their money or you are just one of those twisted few who likes to see people suffer then this is the perfect revenge. And here’s a warning to any adventure role play games developers: come up with innovative, fun to play classes or I will send you on a quest to recover your lost teeth.

[Out of Five]